Hold on to yourself.
by G.O.D-Goddessofdeath
Summary: Sometimes it takes a lot to relizie who really cares, and it took Heero nearly dying for Duo to say the three nicest words in the English languge, 'I love you.' Based on poem, Hold on to yourself, yaoi


HELLO! I am back writing serious stuff. This is my first attempt at yaoi, so be forgiving. This is 1x2x1&3x4x3 and includes Heero nearly dying for Duo to reliase how much he loves him.  
  
Warnings;Yaoi (1x2x1 & 3X4X3), and Heero nearly dying.  
  
***************FLAMERS WELCOME****************  
  
I like flames for toasting mashmallows, toast and................cheese! If you want to be really cutting email me @ z_callo@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer;Here goes nothin'...............I don't own Gundam WIng, dammit, I don't own the poem 'Hold on to yourself' I used. I'm sorry I didn't ask permission, but if you know who it belongs to, email me so I can give them credit, but I NEED PROOF! Send a link to the website so I can check. And if you know who the poem belongs to, and can not be assed to read this, then it ain't my bloody fault, okay?!  
  
  
  
What the Author was on when she wrote this;  
  
Nobody's totallay sure, Heero thinks she was smoking something dodgey, but it could of been;Coca cola, suger on my rice crispes......one hour sleep...............pixie sticks, caffine, Bob the Builider Mumbo No. 5 and so many things. I think I was feeling a bit depreppresd, too.  
  
  
  
--------------------HEERO'S VERSION--------------------------  
  
  
  
Hold on, hold on to yourself,  
  
For this is gonna hurt like Hell.  
  
Hold on, hold on to yourself,  
  
You know that only time will tell.  
  
  
  
I felt pain in my ribs where the man had kicked me. 'What are they chances of getting mugged in London, coming back from the coffee house!' I sarcastically thought to myself. I kicked the man in the chest, and, before he could react, kicked him in the stomach. Blood blossomed from a back wound I had not created. The man lay in the dustbin. As I picked myself up, and dusted myself down, the man yelled,'It was just a lucky break, punk. Lucky break!'  
  
I turned a corner out of the alleyway, and felt my ribs, to figure out the damage. Two of my bottom ribs were broken.  
  
I sighed, wiped the blood outta my eyes, and off my back, and headed towards Quarte's. In fact, it isn't Quarte's, all us ex-pilots share it.  
  
As I walked casually into the kitchen, (well, as casually as one can with a stab wound and two broken ribs), Quarte noticed me bent almost double (you try and stand up straight with broken ribs!).  
  
'What happened?' he asked, as I slumped into a chair.  
  
'Some guy tried to mug me.'  
  
'And?'  
  
'He came off worst.'  
  
'Well, you didn't come off to bad. Only a couple of broken ribs by the look of it!'  
  
'What?! You haven't noticed I've been stab in the back!?'  
  
'Oh,' sighed Quarte, as he fainted onto the sofa.  
  
I went calmly over and slapped him round the face a couple of times.  
  
'What you do that for?!' I said, when the Arabian woke up.  
  
'Well, Heero, that is the fifth time this month that you have been mugged or nearly mugged, and each time, you were stabbed in the back..............'  
  
I shrugged,'So?'  
  
----------------------------DUO'S VERSION---------------------  
  
  
  
What is it in me that refuses to believe,  
  
This isn't easier than the real thing?  
  
My love, you know that you're my best friend,  
  
You know I'd do anything for you.  
  
I was sitting in the kitchen playing 'go fish' with Wu-man, when Hee- chan slumped into the room. Quarte asked if he was O.K. I like Quarte because he cares for us all and let us into his house, but I don't like him in the same way I like Heero.............  
  
Heero said he'd been mugged. Again. He'd been stabbed in the back. Again. For the fifth time. Also, two of his ribs were broken. When will he learn not to go out at night?  
  
------------------------HEERO'S VERSION----------------------  
  
My love, let nothing come between us,  
  
My love for you is strong and true.  
  
Am I in Heaven here? Am I.  
  
At the crossroads I am standing.  
  
I told Duo to come with me upstairs to help me bandage myself. I asked him 'cause I just don't trust anyone else. Quarte was suggesting I go to the hospital, but they make me nervous too. Especially waiting rooms. All the other people are tense and irritable, so I learnt to fix my own bones. I can't fix my ribs, though. If I slip or go wrong, I could die.  
  
I deiced to sink into a bath before I was dressed, so Duo came in the room and eyed my butt as I got changed. I think he goggled at other bits too, but I didn't stop him. The blood of my back sank to the bottom of the bath, but at least it took the sting away.  
  
After the bath, Duo took out some bandages and a big, fat gaze, for my stab wound. I let him carefully clean me up, keeping a perfectly straight face as he did that stinging stuff. It hurt, but I don't like to make a big show of pain.  
  
I then throw on a new green vest top and spandax trouses.  
  
-----------------------DUO'S VERSION-------------------------  
  
Now you're sleepin' peaceful,  
  
I lie awake and I pray,  
  
That you'll be strong tomorrow  
  
And we'll see another day,  
  
And we will praise it,  
  
And love the light that brings a smile across your face.  
  
  
  
Heero asked me upstairs to help bandage himself up. I was glad he trusted me. Sometimes, Heero is like a frightened animal, shy and very protective  
  
Quarte was suggesting that he go to hospital, and I privately agree. The stab wound could get infected, or, it's a low possibility, but one of his broken ribs could puncture his lung. I don't think Heero likes hospital. Face it, none of us do, but he is going to the extremes.  
  
Heero said he was going to have a bath before he put the bandages on. He didn't tell me to leave the room, so I stayed. He has a cute butt, and some of his other privates are quite cute, too!  
  
The blood off his back sank to the bottom of the bath, and I could see why Quarte had fainted. It was quite a deep wound, and the knife must have been quite long. But, I am made of stronger stuff then Quarte because, I am God of Death, the Shinigami.  
  
After Heero's bath, I took out a gaze and bandages. I carefully wrapped the bandage round his chest and back. He didn't wince when I did the stingy stuff, but inside it must be killing.  
  
After that, he put on spandx trouses and green vest top. Doesn't he have any other clothes? Speak for myself, I don't!  
  
----------------------HEERO'S VERSION------------------------  
  
  
  
Oh God, if you're out there, won't you hear me?  
  
I know that we've never talked before.  
  
Oh God, the man I love is leaving,  
  
Won't you take him when he comes to your door?  
  
Am I in Heaven here oh? Am I in Hell?  
  
At the crossroads I am standing.  
  
  
  
I think once I've typed this report on the last mission, I'm going to bed. My ribs hurt, and it is quite hard to breath without pain.  
  
--------------------DUO'S VERSION-----------------------------  
  
  
  
Now you're sleepin' peaceful,  
  
I lie awake and I pray,  
  
That you'll be strong tomorrow  
  
And we'll see another day,  
  
And we will praise it,  
  
And love the light that brings a smile across your face.  
  
Heero has just said goodnight, but it is only eight o'clock. I think he may be in pain. I'm going to go and pursued him to go to hospital  
  
---------------------HEERO'S VERSION-------------------------  
  
  
  
Hold on, hold on to yourself,  
  
For this is gonna hurt like Hell.  
  
I'm pretending to be asleep, because Duo has come in, and he is leturing me about how dangerous a couple of broken ribs can be.  
  
I look like I'm asleep, but don't sound it, because I am having difficulty breathing. I think the almost unpredictable has happened. That one of my broken ribs has punctured one of my lungs.  
  
I feel myself slipping. Duo's voice is getting farther, but this isn't normal going to sleep. It hurts, and my eyes are weary, so I'm just gonna let myself drop.....................................................  
  
--------------------DUO'S VERSION-----------------------------  
  
I have just come down from leturing Heero. He was pretending to be asleep, but after awhile, he really did fall asleep, and I kissed him on his cheek.  
  
I'm going back up now. All the television on now is rubbish, so sleep or a book is the next best option  
  
**************IN THE MORNING********************  
  
------------------------DUO'S VERSION-------------------------  
  
Oimygod................Oi My God! I just walked into Heero's room, and he is laying in a pool of blood. Not from a wound though. I think that the almost impossible has happened. That...............one broken rib punctured a lung, and now he is the stages of slow, but painful, death.  
  
I will do what most people do as soon as they see a scene like this, and scream bloody murder.  
  
-----------------------HEERO'S VERSION-----------------------  
  
Why on earth did I close my eyes? It hurts so much. Everytime I breath, pain rakes my body. I try not to breath, but that's just plain stupid, y'know? If I don't breath, I'll die! But, oh! the pain is so................well, painful...........that it would be a blessing for it to stop!  
  
There's a voice. I recognize it. Duo's. He is saying something to me. It's resurring, like a kid's security blanket. I can't understand what he is saying, but hearing his voice is reassuring  
  
I think I'm in a ambulance It is noisy, fast and warm. I'm going to relax. Maybe they'll take away the pain.  
  
----------------------DUO'S VERSION---------------------------  
  
We're at the hospital All of us. Even Wufei came. When Quarte rushed into Heero's room, where I still stood, screaming, he was closely followed by Trowa. They were both naked, but I was to busy yelling to think what they could of been up to. Wufei was meditating. When they saw Heero, Quarte fainted (how the Heck did HE become a Gundam pilot?!) and Trowa caught him.  
  
Trowa yelled at Wufei to phone an ambulance When it came, fifteen minutes later, I held Heero's hand, and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. His eyes flickered, and then his body stopped being tense. The doctors asked questions, and, adding that together, they told us what they thought happened.  
  
19.00 Heero Yuy was kicked in the ribs by an unknown thief.  
  
19.10 Heero Yuy gets into bath, and after, is bandaged up.  
  
19.30 Heero Yuy watches television  
  
20.00 Heero Yuy goes to bed, in some pain.  
  
20.10 Duo Maxwell pays visit to Heero Yuy, and warns him of the dangers of unseen wounds.  
  
Next day-Morning  
  
09.00 Duo Maxwell finds Heero Yuy laying in a pool of blood he had coughed up.  
  
09.05 Quarte Rabarba Winner and Trowa Barton rush into room.  
  
09.06 Wufei Chang phones for an ambulance  
  
09.21 Ambulance arrives.  
  
Look! They wrote a list explaining it! God sake, I was there!  
  
We're there now. Quarte and Trowa are dressed, but are shaking and look cold as if they're not. If I don't think about Heero and what the doctors are doing to him, it doesn't hurt so much. Wufei is calm. I think nothing fazes him.  
  
The doctor comes with a reassuring grin. One of those funny doctors, like Dr. Hibot out of the Simpsons.  
  
'You're going to make holes in the carpet, pacing like that!'  
  
I was to nervous to sit with the others. It gave me to much time to think. About Heero.  
  
The docter's smile is grim, and I think he and the others know something I don't.  
  
'Mr. Maxwell,'he began.  
  
'Uh, Duo, please, if it's all the same to you.'  
  
'Duo. Heero's right lung has been severely damaged. The right side appears to be the ruling gene in his system. Air is escaping, and the chances of him surviving the operation he needs.......well, we'll just say, less then 50%.'  
  
I sink into a chair. He's Heero. My Heero. And I'm Death. And this is his Death. I said to Heero that he would not die until after I died.  
  
-----------------------HEERO'S VERSION-----------------------  
  
The light is bright, and the fog around me is thinning I want to walk towards the light, because maybe if I do, the pain'll go away. But something is holding me back. Not physical, not there, but...............I remember! It's Duo! I can't go with out at least saying good-bye. Anyway, he said I wouldn't die before him. Since he is Death, ruler of those dead and dying, I believe him.  
  
I turn and run. The fog thickens again, and the pain comes rushing back. And the dullness of my senses.  
  
--------------------------DUO'S VERSION-----------------------  
  
They said I can go and see him. They say that the op. wasn't optional, so they didn't ask our option  
  
Heero is not breathing independently, and the heart machine attached to him makes me nervous, but he is my Heero, and I love him, so it doesn't matter.  
  
Nobody else is in the room, which is good, because I am so tense that anybody else would have been strangled. Qu-chan and Tro-chan said I could go in first, because they know about me and Heero.  
  
I dare not approach the bed, but I will because he is the most important thing in the Universe, and I love him.  
  
I sit in the chair beside the bed. Normally, you can't shut me up, right, but talking to this person who was so alive less the twenty-four hours ago..........................well, just the idea freaks me out. And he matters to me so much.  
  
'Hi Hee-koi,'I say, adventurly,'how's it hangin'? Guess it's a bit of a stupid question in a hospital and all....................'  
  
God, I can't even string a sentence together!  
  
'Well, this is difficult, since we both know, just never admitted it, but........................I love you...............to High Hell, honest! I hope you can hear me, because I'm pouring my feelings out here, and I'm probley not going to repeat it again, and you won't say it, unless you hear this.................Oh, God, I'm rambling...............again................'  
  
---------------------HEERO'S VERSION-------------------------  
  
Duo called me his koi?! And said he loved me? Duo-koi, hold on baby, Heero's going pull though just fine. He always does.  
  
I love him too. And want to place my hands on his bootylicious body. I was called to Heaven, again, but was pulled down by a stronger force. Once again, love has conquered all.  
  
--------------------DUO'S VERSION-----------------------------  
  
'Well, Heero............I guess there's nothing left to say............apart from get well soon, and the others will come and see you in a moment or two................' I said, slowly, getting off of the chair, also slowly.  
  
Then I heard a voice. Quiet and weak, a bit croaky, but I recognized it.  
  
'I love you, too', the voice said.  
  
'Heero!' I said, rushing back to his side. His eyes were half-open and he looked pale and tired. He had removed the oxygen mask, and was breathing rasperly and unevenly, so I put it back on. The doctor had warned me that just waking up would take a lot of effort, and, since he spoke too, I wasn't surprised when his eyes closed again.  
  
I kissed his cheek, and said,'I will always love you.' I grabbed my coat again and left the room.  
  
In the waiting area, I told the others what had happened. Quarte was glad we'd finally admitted our true feelings, and Trowa quietly asked about marriage.  
  
I was happy, but at the back of my head there was a niggle, reminding me that Heero still may not make it though, and maybe he returned just to say that he loved me. Oh God, I hope not...........................  
  
----------------HEERO'S VERSION------------------------------  
  
Oh God, I hope not.....................I don't want to die! I'm far to young and in love and gay! I remeber a kinda game me and Duo once played. We had all these questions (not personnel, more like a survey) and we asked each other them. Duo's fourth question was;'If you were greeted by God when you get to Heaven, what would you like him to say?' I answered, 'Sorry, we made a boo-boo. Go back down.'  
  
That's true. I'm glad I got sent back down again, because I have too much to live for.  
  
I'm becoming more aware of the room around me. And, sadly, the pain. There is a msk over my mouth and nose. When I said those four words to Duo, I had to remove it, and the air was cleaner.  
  
I wiggle my hands free from under the covers. There has never been a lock or trap a Gundam pilot can't get out of. I carefully removed the mask, and sit up to look around the room.  
  
The first thing I see is the heart mointer with a long cable attached to my chest. My heart is surprisingly calm, though it feels like it was going nineteen to a dozen.  
  
The next thing I see is the scar on my chest, where the docters have re-sewn me up.  
  
I can't be bothered to carry on looking, so I carefully remove the suckers on my chest.  
  
'BLOOP! BLIMP!'Shit! There's an alarm attached to it! 


End file.
